If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
