fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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