Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
