when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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