So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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