Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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