He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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