what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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