You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize