I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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