God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
