Moan for me like Helen Keller
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
COCAINE IS GR8
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
