Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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