Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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