I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
