Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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