He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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