The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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