it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
