Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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