$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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