Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize