I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
