from now on my penis is your penis
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
