When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
