I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Shame is for Republicans.
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