Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
