we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
