I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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