I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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