Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
