i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
