I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
