i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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