Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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