So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
