the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
