I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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