Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
