i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
