? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
