haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
