Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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