So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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