$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
