Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
