life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
where are you?
Hypothermia
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
