I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
