One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
