we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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