Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
