she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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