I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
