Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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