My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
