You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
