Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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