So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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