he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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