PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
